


Battlefield of Love

by fanfics



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-07-25 21:10:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7547347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfics/pseuds/fanfics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha Romanov has never believed in love, has never experienced it and never thought about it. But then a certain America's golden boy came into her life and fucked shit up for her. He made her question everything she ever thought..</p><p>After Civil War, Natasha has nowhere left to go and she has to rely on other's help. That will lead her in a battle she wasn't prepared for.</p><p>//I suck at summaries, hope the story is better..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Finding Home

**Author's Note:**

> So here it is, my first Captain America themed fanfiction _ever_! And I'd like to add that English isn't my first language so I apologize for possible spelling mistakes. 
> 
> I'm sure it's already clear, but just to be sure, I don't own Captain America, The Avengers or anything Marvel related!

Hiding was never that hard for Natasha. She had gotten used to it by now so that wasn’t the reason why she was upset with Tony Stark. No, the reason why she’s mad at him is that he turned his back on his friends. Yes, Natasha had betrayed him by choosing Steve’s side in the end but it was completely different. Natasha did it because she cares about her friends, especially Steve, and she didn’t want to see any of them to get hurt. And she knew that Steve wouldn’t give up, so why fight against her partner if there’s no proper reason to do so? She didn’t agree with Steve’s decision but she understood. Bucky means a lot to him and she wouldn’t dare to stay on his way. She didn’t want to lose him as a friend or whatever the hell he was to her. 

The truth is, she has started to question her motives towards Cap. At first she truly looked up to him, respected him and knew he would do the right thing in the end, so she decided to stick by his side, hoping that eventually she would get a good ally for herself. But things had happened and she found much deeper feelings towards him than she liked to admit. She cares about him, a lot and it scares her. Never had she ever let herself feel something like that towards anyone, but somehow the blue eyed soldier had found a way to break her thick walls. 

And now she was on a run because of Steve, and Tony. Tony could’ve kept his mouth shut about her involvement in Steve’s escape but he chose otherwise and left her coldly without an ally and for government to collect in their prison. She thought they were friends, they all were, and friends don’t do that to each other. Tony knew exactly how much she cared about Steve, not that she liked it, and he knew she wouldn’t let them capture him. But still he somehow chose to believe she would leave Steve behind and turn to his side fully, which she would never do, not when she loathed the government and only wanted to sign the accord to make the Avengers stay together, how that turned out.. 

She never wanted things to turn out like they did. She only wanted to help her friends and have their backs. It wasn’t her fault that the Avengers were no longer together, she knew that, but still she partly blamed herself. 

“The king of Wakanda is now ready for you Miss Romanoff” The man she had talked to earlier informed her and she gave a small nod, heading towards the room in front of her. 

She didn’t want to ask for favors, but now when almost every country wanted to find her, she had no choice. She had tried to hide for two months but somehow she always blew her cover and had to run again. It had become harder and harder every time. She knew she wasn’t anywhere near on asking favors from T’Challa, not after what she did, but he was the only person who could help her right now. 

“Good morning Natasha” T’Challa spoke kindly, to her surprise and gave her a small smile.  
“Your highness” She spoke in a respectful way, not wanting to give him any more reasons to hate her.  
“Sit down, please” He spoke again and she did what she was asked to do. She expected that T’Challa would bite her head off, but instead he sit relaxed in his chair, looking kindly at her and not sending any hatred wipes at her.  
“So..” He started, looking at his computer screen. She knew he was looking at her begging email and it made her feel a little uncomfortable.  
“You want to stay here?” He asked, again kindly.  
“If that suits you. I wouldn’t want to intrude and I know I betrayed you before..” She started but he cut her off.  
“You didn’t betray me Natasha. I was a bit shocked, yes, but I understand the reason you did it, so no hard feelings” He explained and again it surprised her, not that she let her surprisement be seen on her face.  
“Besides, I know the others will be happy to see you again” He stated and she was completely confused. The others? She was about to ask him but he started to speak again before she had the time.  
“I’m happy to let you stay here as long as you want, now, let’s go see your friends” He said and stood up, Natasha following him, immediately feeling her excitement grow. Were her friends really there? 

she had no time to progress her thoughts when the doors to the main living room, she supposed, opened and revealed all her friends, except Tony.  
“Nat!” Clint shouted the second she walked through the doors and in instant she was in his embrace.  
“It’s good to see you” Natasha said and closed her eyes for a moment. She couldn’t believe they were there, for real.  
“I missed you my counselor” Wanda said, hugging her after she had let go of Clint. Wanda was like her little sister, she had been training her and they had grown close.  
“Nat” Sam nodded.  
“Sam” She informed, nodding back with a grin which he returned before pulling her in his arms. They had also formed a solid friendship over the years.  
“Nat” She heard Steve’s voice and her heart skipped a beat. She turned around and saw his blue eyes full of happiness.  
“Steve” She said in return and held herself back, not wanting to run in his arms, which she almost did. He took quick steps towards her and in one pull she was in his steady arms, embracing him. 

He leaned on her head and closed his eyes, letting himself inhale her scent and savor the moment. He had missed her dearly. When she had let him go with Bucky he had almost turned around and took her with him, but he knew he couldn’t so he let her go. The entire time she was gone he was worrying sick about her, never stopping until now, when he got her into his arms.  
“It’s good to have you back” He mumbled into her hair.  
“It’s good to be back” She answered and stayed for a little longer before she broke the hug, not wanting to seem suspicious if she stayed in his arms for too long. She glanced past Steve’s shoulder to Bucky, who seemed a bit uncomfortable.  
“You are not trying to kill me?” She asked with her ‘teasing’ voice and he chuckled, seeming to relax.  
“Nope” He said.  
“Then it’s good to see you” Natasha said and gave him a small smile, which he returned gladly. He wanted to talk with Natasha at one point. He remembers their past now and he wants to make sure there’s no hard feelings between them, considering they had a little ‘fling’ back when they were both in Red Room at the same time. She seemed alright, and Bucky could swear he saw her looking at Steve with longing eyes. He knew she had feelings for his best friend, he could feel it. And he knew for a fact that Steve had feelings for her too, he knew his best friend too well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know in the real Captain America: Civil War movie T'Challa was the one who turned Natasha in but it suited better this way. 
> 
> Also I apologize for the short length of this chapter, I promise it will get longer. This was just like an 'introduction' of what is about to come. Comments are welcome, good and bad ones.


	2. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to publish this chapter already, although I promised myself I would wait one or two days, oh well.

“If you don’t mind me asking..” Steve started but he knew she wouldn’t mind, she never did when he asked something from her, even if it was something personal. Although, she would try to squirm her way out of the question but eventually would give an answer. Natasha gave him a smile and he took that as her answer.   
“Why are you here?” He asked, not that he was complaining. He loved having her around again. Just seeing those green eyes made his day light up instantly. When T’Challa had told them that Natasha was coming he could feel his heart stop, in a good way. He hadn’t seen her in two months and it drove him mad. He wanted to know if she was okay and hearing nothing from her just made him overthink things. He assumed she was still with Tony.

She made a face and uncomfortably shifted in her seat on the couch.   
“I’m kind of on the wanted list too” She answered and let her eyes fall down to the floor for a second, before she lifted it up again and looked around the room. 

She felt slightly guilty about going behind Stark's back and turn sides, but just slightly. She was loyal to those who showed loyalty to her and Stark had done that to her before, in his own twisted ways. So yes, she felt bad. But if she had to be on the government's bad side in order to be with her friends, her family, then be it. She had way too little in her life that brought her happiness and her friends were one of them. If that made her seem like a criminal then she didn't mind. She had been told far worse before. 

“What? Why?” Clint asked confused.   
“Because I helped Steve and Bucky to escape” She answered and Clint nodded, he knew that already.   
“And Tony told Thaddeus Ross about my betrayal and now the government wants to arrest me too” She explained before Clint had the time to say anything. Steve felt a wave of guilty coming to his way. It was his fault that Nat was in this mess.  
“It’s not your fault” Natasha said as she recognized the look on Steve’s face.   
“I made my own choice, it was my own, not yours. I decided to stand by your side, you didn’t force me to do it” She said and Steve felt slightly better. 

Deep down he knew the whole time that Nat would have his back, she always did. He gave him a warm smile which she returned. Bucky watched between the two of them, their attachment towards each other was so obvious it amazed him why neither one of them hadn't already made the first move. He knew Steve had something to stop him, Sharon. Bucky liked her alright but Steve didn't talk about her the same way he talked about Natasha. It sounded more like Sharon was his friend instead of girlfriend, if that's what she even was to him, and he spoke about Natasha in a way he had only talked about one woman, Peggy. He didn't think Natasha was replacing Peggy, hell no one could replace her, but she obviously had a place in his heart. 

“So, what are we going to do now?” He spoke up. Steve started to think about Bucky's question before he told his thoughts out loud.  
“We need to make the government, and people, to see we aren’t going to hurt anyone. So I suggest we keep on going missions but we can’t draw too much attention to us, we need to do it quietly” Steve said finally.   
“We also need to train our abilities, so we have better control over them. We can’t afford another mistake” He continued and glanced at Wanda, who was intently looking at her hands. Then he turned to Natasha, who seemed to follow Steve’s gaze, like he thought she would. He looked at her for a few seconds, like having a silent conversation with her before Nat nodded. 

She knew what he wanted her to do. She had to take Wanda under her wing again, train her, make her believe in herself, not be afraid of her powers.

“How are we supposed to get our hands on missions? We don’t have access to anywhere really, so how we know when and where our help is needed?” Sam said. Natasha grinned at him.   
“Right, I forgot you had a hobby..” Sam said as he saw her face.   
“I still have one of the SHIELD’s memory sticks so I should be able to use that data on our advantage, I just need to get my hands on a working computer” She explained.  
“You can use the computer on one of my offices” T’Challa said. Steve nodded in approval.   
“Then it’s settled. Nat, go with T’Challa and get our hands on those files. And the rest of us will go to training room and get started, we have a lot of work to do” Steve announced.

“Actually, Wanda, could you come with me?” Natasha asked as they were already making their way out of the room. Steve gave her an approving nod before heading the other way.   
“What is it?” Wanda asked curiously and followed Natasha and T’Challa.   
“Nothing important, I just thought we could catch up and I could teach you a trick or two” Natasha answered and looked over her shoulder, just to give her a genuine smile.

Wanda knew it was code and really meant she wanted to keep an eye on her, but honestly she didn’t mind. The time when she was fighting against Natasha was really hard for her. Natasha had become her ‘big sister’ and she really looked up to her. After Pietro had died she felt empty for a long time but Natasha had managed to fill a piece of her emptiness. She missed her and having her back is just a dream come true to her. So she doesn’t mind her watching her if it meant she was able to spend time with Nat. 

Natasha was able to get access to every S.H.I.E.L.D. file they needed, even if it took longer than she had anticipated. Although S.H.I.E.L.D. didn’t really exist anymore, their files still lived on. She managed to even get hands on Ross’s computer data, so it wouldn’t be hard to get missions for them. She taught Wanda a few basic tricks before they headed towards the training area. 

“Care to share what’s on your mind?” Natasha asked. She didn’t even have to look at Wanda to see that something troubled her.   
“Not really..” She said but Natasha gave her a knowing look.  
“It’s silly really..” Wanda started and kept a break before speaking again, collecting her thoughts.  
“I just keep on thinking that maybe I’m not supposed to be good, maybe I was born evil and I shouldn’t be trying to save lives when I only seem to make things worse” She explained. Natasha stopped her and firmly kept her hands on both sides of her arms.   
“You weren’t born evil Wanda. I wasn’t born evil either. Bad people did that to us, the things we did back then weren’t our own choices. But now we have a second chance to make it better. We can choose to be good” She said.   
“But what if I don’t know how? What if I don’t know what’s the right choice?” Wanda asked.   
“Then I’ll be there for you and help you choose right. We all are here for you. If you ever doubt anything then we’ll help you get through it. You’re not alone in this Wanda” Nat said. Wanda thought it for a while before nodding.   
“You’re right. I can be good if I want to” She said a smile on her face before she pulled Natasha into a hug. The old Natasha would have pushed her away but she had changed, she now let people in more easily and let her guard down, which she’s not sure if it’s a good thing or not. Clint once said she had grown soft and maybe he was right. She now allowed herself feel things instead of pushing them away. Maybe it's part of having a real family.   
“Come on. Let’s see what damage boys have already done” Natasha said before she pushed the door open and stepped inside. 

The space where they were training was a huge hall, where T’Challa used to keep one of his planes before he moved it and let the Avengers train there. Sam was fighting with Clint while Steve and Bucky were fighting on the other end. As soon as Bucky saw Natasha come in he knew now would be a good time to talk with her.   
“Would you excuse me? I have to talk to Romanoff” Bucky said to Steve, who looked confused at least. He supposed it was something about their past. 

Now that Bucky had his memories back he told Steve he had a past with Natasha. Not that Steve knew what kind of past they shared, but he thought it would be something he didn’t even want to know about. Feeling little bothered about their talk Steve still nodded in approval, not that Bucky needed his permission.

Bucky walked towards the other end of the hall, where Natasha stood with Wanda. Steve walked over to Clint and Sam, the whole time keeping his eyes on his best friend.   
“Romanoff, can we talk?” Bucky asked as soon as he arrived. Natasha nodded.  
“I’m gonna go” Wanda said before heading towards others, leaving the two alone.  
“What’s up Barnes?” Natasha asked.   
“Nothing much, I just wanted to talk about the ‘fling’ we had back then, make sure there’s no hard feelings or anything” He said.   
“It was hardly a ‘fling’, more of a physical pleasure importer” She said and Bucky chuckled.   
“Yeah, good times”

It really had been something that kept his, and hers, mind at least somewhat sane. He wasn’t himself anymore but when she was under him in his bed or the other way around, he felt like a normal person again. It was the only ‘real’ thing he had in Red Room that was his own decision and not planted in his brain. They didn’t have feelings involved, hell no, it was just a way to escape from reality. 

“And if I recall right it was pure physical relationship, no feelings involved so no friction between us” Natasha said and gave him a slight smile.  
“That’s good” Bucky said.

“So..” He started again and glanced at Steve before continued “Do you trust me and believe I’m on your side?”   
Natasha looked over his shoulder also at Steve, who was currently explaining something to Wanda.  
“He seems to trust you, and I trust him” She answered and Bucky nodded.  
“That’s good enough for me, now. But watch your back Romanoff, I will win you over soon” Bucky grinned.   
“Don’t hold your breath Barnes” Natasha said and started to walk towards their teammates.   
“Can I at least call you Natasha?” He asked, walking beside her.  
“We’re not there yet” She said.   
“That’s cold” Bucky answered and pretended to be hurt and held his right hand on his chest, where his heart was.   
“Shut up Barnes” Natasha punched him playfully. 

Steve watched his two friends, he was glad they seemed to be on good terms but still he felt little uneasy. He wanted them to be happy but still he found himself hoping they wouldn’t repeat their history, whatever that contained. 

Later that night Steve was wandering around the house, not admitting he was looking for the certain auburn haired woman. His attempts were soon awarded when he found her at the end of the hall, on the balcony that opened a view to the ocean.   
“Hi” Steve greeted her and went next to her and leaned on the railing.   
“Hey” Natasha greeted back and kept her eyes on the skyline, she didn’t have to turn around to see who the figure next to her was, she knew it before he had even spoken up.   
“You alright?” Steve asked, not sure why exactly. He just wanted to know if something was on her mind. Natasha smiled a little and let herself steal a glimpse of him before turning her green eyes away again.   
“Everything’s well” She said “You?”   
“Everything’s alright as well” Steve answered and looked at Nat before turning his gaze away. A comfortable silence fell upon them. They just stood there, right by each other’s side, just enjoying the company.   
“You know, Stark would find us if he really wanted to” Natasha noted after a while and Steve nodded.  
“I know, I just hope deep down he wants us to be friends again” Steve said. 

Pause.

“I’m sure he wants that, he’s just too stubborn to do so” Natasha said.

Another pause. 

“Reminds me of someone I know” Natasha said with a grin and turned to look at him.   
“I’m not stubborn” Steve protested but she lifted her eyebrow.   
“Okay, I might be” He admitted, a smile following his answer. 

They stayed like that for a moment, staring at one another, his blue eyes seeking something from her green ones. For a while Natasha let herself feel all the feelings she had inside her, while Steve couldn’t help himself from getting another step closer to her, making their bodies almost press together. He started to lean down slowly, seeing she wasn’t backing away. 

But before he was close enough, she did back away. 

She was tempted to lean up and press their lips together, but she couldn’t let herself. He would regret it later so why not stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life. 

“It’s late, I should be going” Natasha said with a small smile, making it seem like nothing almost happened.   
“Yeah, good idea” Steve said and also smiled again.  
“Good night Steve” She said over her shoulder before fully stepping inside.   
“Good night Nat” He said back and then she was gone. Steve let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He was glad Nat didn’t let him kiss her, it would’ve fucked things up entirely.


	3. The Little Miss Sunshine

The next two weeks had been going well for the team. They were able to go on successful missions and some of the people seemed to trust them more again. Still they kept on reading bad things about them from internet and saw newscasts of them and their missions, in which their actions were incorrectly told. They thought it was Tony’s and his allies doings.

“That’s not how it happened!” Clint shouted furiously and motioned towards the big screen in front of him.

“Clint let it go, they’ve said bad things about all of us, there’s nothing personal in it” Natasha said and patted his shoulder before heading towards the empty seat next to Steve.

“Nothing personal?! Didn’t you see what they said?!” Clint continued his raging and touched the screen to switch it from the TV broadcast to news.

“The former Avenger known as Hawkeye made sure to ‘show off’ his skills and ended up wounding an innocent citizen, who is now taken to medical care. We were able to get the victim’s statement about the events..” Clint read out loud and immediately turned bright red in rage.

“To show off? TO SHOW OFF? I do not show off my skills!” He shouted and Wanda chuckled at him slightly.

“You do a bit” She said.

“What? I do not!” Clint protested and seeked for Natasha’s eyes, to find a backup from there. But he got none.

“I’m sorry, I have to agree with Wanda” Natasha said with a grin. Clint mumbled something to himself before heading towards the end of the plane, getting ready for their mission.

 

They were currently using one of SHIELD’s planes which Natasha had managed to hijack before the government was on her tracks. She had worked her magic on it and now it was impossible to track down.

 

“Five minutes till landing! Steve, call Sharon and tell her to be ready” Sam shouted, he was their pilot for the night.

“Okay” Natasha heard Steve’s, somehow nervous, voice say next to her and she immediately turned her gaze towards him, confused.

“What?” She asked. Natasha had no idea what Sharon had to do with anything. She couldn’t remember her being part of their plans for tonight or did she miss something? No, that was impossible, she always knew every detail of their plans.

“Yeah, Steve’s girlfriend is joining us from now on. Didn’t he tell you?” Sam announced and she felt her heart sink, Steve’s girlfriend?  

 

Steve felt a banging quilt coming. He didn’t tell Natasha about Sharon before because he didn’t know how to bring it up and she hadn’t asked anything about his lovelife so he didn’t have a chance. Who was he kidding, he had a chance to tell her for two weeks but he simply didn’t have the courage to do so. He was too terrified to find out how Nat would react to the news. Partly he was scared she would yell at him for making Sharon part of their plans and exposing her for the threat. And the second part of him scared that she wouldn’t care.

 

He wasn’t even sure where he stood with Sharon. Yes, they kissed before the whole fight thing and they had talked since then almost every day. He really enjoyed talking to her but he wasn’t sure if that’s all he feels, like she’s a good friend. But then there’s the memory of Peggy. He knows it’s wrong, but sometimes he found himself thinking that if he was with Sharon then it would almost feel like he was with Peggy. He hated himself for those thoughts but he couldn’t help them.

 

Steve watched carefully at Natasha and seeked some kind of reaction. Instead saying anything, she just turned her attention from him and blankly stared at the wall opposite her. He knew what she was doing, she was making sure no one knew what she thought, she was shielding herself and he hated it. He wanted some kind of reaction from her but he got nothing. Hell, he would’ve preferred her yelling at him instead of being completely silent.

 

“Steve you really didn’t tell her?!” Sam yelled again and Steve could swear his cheeks turned bright red.

“I.. I guess I really didn’t have a chance..” Steve tried to save himself but that seemed to be the wrong thing to say. Natasha turned to look at him again, now her green eyes narrowed, a dangerous look on her face.

“You didn’t have a chance?! How about every damn second for the past two weeks?!” She started to yell at him and stood up from her seat, turning to face him.

“You didn’t care to tell me you have a girlfriend?! Rogers, I thought we were on the same team and tell each other everything! You should’ve told me about her!” She continued and Steve flinched when she called him _Rogers._

“Do you understand you put the whole team under danger by keeping a thing like this from us?!” Natasha yelled, although she’s not sure if everyone else already knew about _Sharon_ but didn’t dare to tell her.

“Actually they already know..” Steve said ashamed and Natasha rolled her eyes.

“Of course they do” She sighed and closed her mouth.

 

She wanted to scream at him but she couldn’t. She didn’t find any words to speak to him anymore. She turned her attention away from his blue eyes that kept searching for mercy and was full of sadness at the same time.

 

Bucky watched the duo in silent, like everyone else in the room did. At this moment he really wanted to punch his best friend for being so stupid. Why didn’t he tell her about Sharon? Bucky assumed Natasha already knew but apparently she didn’t. He wanted to know why his best friend kept his girlfriend as a secret from the former spy. He sure was going to find out about it.

 

Not many could read the look on Natasha’s face but Bucky knew that look far too well. She was hiding her true feelings. They were taught to put a mask on every time they didn’t want their enemy to find out what they truly felt; anger, fear, repulsion.. It had become like a reflex to them. And Natasha was one of the best at doing that, but still Bucky knew better.

 

“Oh good we’re there!” Wanda said, breaking the awkward silence that had fell into the room a moment ago.

 

Natasha didn’t dare to even look at Steve, she didn’t want to show him what she really thought. That her heart was aching like hell, that her whole world was falling apart, that she was blaming herself for it. She knew she shouldn’t have let him in. She shouldn’t have let her walls fall down. She should’ve kept her distance from him, from all of them and not let herself fall for him.

 

She was stupid to ever think about him liking her back. Like the black widow could ever find true love, like she could ever find anyone to make her happy. Love is for children, she had said it and still she hadn’t listen to her own words. God, how much she hated Steve Rogers at that moment.

 

Natasha put on the missing pieces of her uniform and went to the back, making sure she wasn’t standing next to Steve. She positioned herself firmly between Bucky and the wall.

“You okay?” Bucky whispered to her and she turned to look at him in surprise. Bucky Barnes was the last person she expected to be concerned about her well being.

“I’m fine” She said and tried to sound as convincing as possible.

“Of course you are” Bucky said with a grin and she hit him in his arm.

“Ow, you have to stop hitting me” Bucky whined and rubbed his left arm above the metallic piece.

“Then you have to stop being such an ass” She answered but grinned at him. She was glad for the distraction and maybe Bucky wasn’t so bad after all.

 

Her grin faded as soon as the rail opened up. There stood Agent 13, Sharon Carter, in her own uniform and bags on both of her hands. Bucky felt Natasha tense next to him and he quickly glanced at Steve, who was looking at Natasha, before looking back to the woman next to him.

“Steve’s watching. Show him you don’t care” Bucky whispered and Natasha nodded. She had no idea how Bucky knew so well what was going on inside of her head but for some reason she didn’t mind as much as she should. She put on the best fake smile she could before heading towards the blonde woman.

“Sharon! So nice to see you!” She said cheerily and gave her a hug. Sharon was a little surprised, but didn’t mind. She actually liked agent Romanoff.

“Hey! Nice to see you too” She said back with a smile.

“If I knew you were coming I would’ve make sure those boys cleaned this place up” She said, still keeping the smile on her face.

“Steve didn’t tell you?” Sharon asked and looked at Steve with a frown, who rubbed his neck uncomfortably.

“Oh it’s not a big deal! I think his dementia has gotten worse” Natasha grinned and Steve rolled his eyes, always with the old jokes. Sharon chuckled. Bucky watched proudly at Natasha, she was keeping the role up well, she truly was a skilled liar.

“Let’s get your things inside” Clint offered with a smile and took one of the bags from her hand.

“Oh, thank you” Sharon thanked him and followed him inside. As soon as she was out of sight Natasha stopped smiling and instead looked at the scenery in front of her.

“Nat I..” Steve started but Natasha stopped him with a ‘no’.

“Don’t say anything. Let’s just get this over with” She said without even looking at him and started to walk to the direction where they were supposed to go, knowing the others would follow her sooner or later.

 

Their mission went alright, there was a few difficulties but they managed to save all who needed saving. Natasha even forgot her anger towards Steve and Sharon as she was able to do what she really enjoyed, hurt the bad guys. Occasionally the bad guys’ heads turned into Sharon’s or Steve’s in her imagination so she was able to really blow off some steam.

 

After the mission they went back to the plane, where the miss sunshine was already waiting for them. Cold drinks on a tray. Not that Natasha knew where the hell she had got them. She looked like the perfect housewife, waiting for her husband to come home from work, making sure he got everything he needed to relax after a rough day. The thought made Natasha want to throw up.

 

Steve looked at Sharon with a smile. The beautiful blonde stood in front of him and he couldn’t help but be happy that she was finally there. Then he looked at Natasha, who seemed to be much more herself at the battle, he had noticed, but now her carefree expression had turned into something he couldn’t quite read. Natasha was a complete mystery at times. He knows he should talk to her but he reckons to wait until she’s in the better mood, if that ever happens.

 

He’s not even sure why she had made such a scene about Sharon. Yes, he gets that she was angry about him not telling her and he’s truly sorry about that, he really is. But still he had a feeling there was more to it. Maybe she didn’t like Sharon. Or maybe she was jealous. Steve sneered at his own thoughts. That was impossible. Natasha Romanoff was never jealous, especially over him, it was ridiculous.

 

“How was the mission?” Sharon asked, from no one in particular.

“It was okay” Steve answered and took a bottle of beer from the tray, making a mental note to thank her later.

“Okay? We killed it!” Sam said excitedly, also taking a beer.

“We sure did birdboy” Clint commented and Sam gave him a deadly look.

“What have I said about using that name?” Sam asked while walking beside Clint, heading inside.

“That I should use it all the time?” Clint asked and Sam answered something that Natasha didn’t hear as they were already too far away.

“Those two” Wanda said with an eyeroll and followed them anyway.

“I should make sure those two don’t kill each other” Natasha said to Sharon and briefly glanced at Steve before heading inside, not taking a bottle for herself, although she truly wanted it.

“So..” Steve started once he was left alone with Sharon.

“So..” Sharon answered and they both chuckled.

“I’m truly happy that you came” Steve managed to say. Sharon flashed him a smile.

“And I’m happy to be here” She said and took Steve’s hand in hers.

“You are?” Steve asked, taking a step closer.

“Sure. I mean, speaking on the phone is great but I’m glad we get to do things we aren’t able to do on the phone” She said, mischievous grin on her face.

“Really? What things are you talking about?” Steve asked, his eyebrow slightly upwarded, daring look on his face.

“This, among other things” She said and closed the distance between them, kissing him on his lips.

 

Natasha watched the two but seeing them kiss made her stomach drop and she had to look away.

“Ugh, that’s gross” Bucky commented when he came next to her.

“Give me that” Natasha said and took the beer out of Bucky’s hand and took a huge sip from it.

“Hey!” Bucky exclaimed his hands up in the air but she was already walking away with his beer in her hand. He didn’t really mind. He knew she needed it more than he did anyway.

 

“Are we home yet?” Natasha asked from Clint as she collapsed on the co-pilot’s chair.

“Not yet but it shouldn’t take long” Clint answered. He glanced at her and the way she was collapsed on the chair and her sour expression screamed that there was something wrong.

“What’s wrong?” Clint asked, his brows furrowed.

“Nothing’s wrong” Natasha answered with monotone voice but he gave her a look that said he’s not buying it.

“I’m just tired and I want to get to sleep” She tried again but there was no fooling Clint Barton. He knew her too well and saw through all the walls she tried to build.

“It’s Cap isn’t it?” He asked, keeping his eyes straightly ahead but he could still see the surprised look on her face.

“How’d you know?” She asked.

“That you have feelings for him?” He asked and she immediately looked around, making sure no one else heard their conversation. Natasha didn’t answer but she didn’t have to.

“You keep forgetting I’m the Hawkeye after all, I see everything” He said and she rolled her eyes.

“And I know you almost better than I know myself” He continued.

 

Natasha let a long sigh escape from her lips. She started to get tired of people seeing right through her. She didn’t seem to fool either Clint or Bucky and she couldn’t help but wonder how long it would take for everyone else to find out what was going on inside of her head.  

 

“I don’t know what I feel. All I know is that I don’t like watching him with the little miss sunshine” She confessed because there’s no point for lying to Clint when she was like an open book to him.

“I think that’s called jealousy” Clint said matter of factly.

“I hate you” Natasha said.

“No, you love me” Clint grinned.

“And I think you’re in love with Cap” He continued, his voice more serious. Natasha almost choked on her beer, or more specifically, on Bucky’s beer.

“Don’t be ridiculous” She said.

“You can deny it as much as you want but you and I both know the truth” Clint said.

 

Natasha knew he was right, no matter how much she hated it. She was, indeed, in love with Steve freaking Rogers. It was hard for her to even admit that she had some feelings, but admitting that she loved someone, it was the most horrific thing in the world.

 


	4. The Battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm ashamed of myself, I haven't updated in ages.. But here it is, chapter 4 finally! I had started this chapter and several others but I wasn't sure what I was about to write before, so I had to edit everything. I hope it's not too bad.

Natasha turned on her bed and felt someone put their hand on her waist. For a second she was terrified of what was happening but then she remembered that the person behind her was not a threat.

“Good morning” Steve’s warm voice was heard in her ear and she smiled happily. She turned around and placed a quick kiss on his lips beforestaring into his gorgeous blue eyes.

“Morning” She answered and he was now smiling too.

“Did you sleep well?” She asked from the man she adored.

“Better than in a long time” Steve answered and left a long trail of kisses on her neck.

“Really?” She asked with her husky voice and smirked.

“Really” Steve confirmed and continued kissing her, traveling a little lower before coming back up again.

“You know” Natasha started and closed her eyes for a second, enjoying the feeling.

“We could stay in bed today” She continued. Steve kissed her jaw before moving to her lips, pressing his firmly against hers. They moved in sync for a while before Steve broke the kiss, resting on his hands to keep him from crushing Natasha’s body.

“We could” He said and placed a quick kiss on her lips again.

“But you have to wake up” He said and looked at her.

“What?” Natasha asked in confusion. She blinked her eyes rapidly.

 

She was already awake, wasn’t she?

 

“Wake up!” Steve’s voice said but soon his face turned into Bucky’s and she was too aware of the stupid smirk he had on his face.

“Good, you finally woke up” Bucky said and stood up from the floor where he had been knelt down next to Natasha’s sleeping form.

“Don’t you dare say anything” Natasha said with a firm look and slowly lifted herself up from the couch, where she had apparently been daydreaming.

“I won’t. Although it was pretty hilarious to watch you” He remarked and earned a pillow thrown in his way.

“Stop it!” Natasha said. It was already bad enough that she saw these dreams about Steve but Bucky knowing made it much worse. She was embarrassed and she was never embarrassed.

“Okay okay!” Bucky said, his hands thrown up in surrender.

“So, why did you wake me up?” Natasha asked and stood up, flexing her stiff muscles.

“Oh right, we have another mission we have to go” He informed and already made his way out of the room.

“What mission?” She asked. She hoped someone would have woke her up earlier.

“You remember those odd break-ins we have faced in these past weeks?” Bucky asked, although he was certain Natasha knew what he was talking about.

“Yes” Natasha simply answered.

“Well, Clint and Sharon were able to get their hands on the security footage from our previous mission and it turns out it’s as alarming as we thought” He explained as they made their way into the plane hall.

“So, metahumans?” Natasha asked, or rather, stated.

“Yep” Bucky said.

 

“What’s the plan?” Natasha asked when they arrived to the plane. She really didn’t like the fact that they were the last ones. She was used to being on time, usually the first person to be ready.

Luckily she had slept in her mission suit, since before her nap they were practicing with their outfits on. Apparently she had been tired and fallen asleep.

Steve was little surprised to see Nat arriving with Bucky, and they were late. Natasha was never late. He found himself making up different scenarios to why they were late and he didn’t like any of them. Steve suddenly felt a weird feeling in his stomach but he brushed it off as fast as it had occurred. Maybe this mission just made him feel uneasy.

“The footage we have isn’t good enough to identify these metahumans, but at least we were able to count how many of them there is, so we have at least some sort insight what’s waiting for us” Steve explained and Natasha nodded.

“Well that’s good enough for now, let’s go then” Natasha said.

 

The mission was going well. They were rescuing people from burning building, that some of the remaining HYDRA members had lit up, they supposed it was in order to make a statement and show they were still on full power. Despite the fact that the mission was going according to plan, Natasha had an unnerving feeling in the pit of her stomach. She kept waiting for something bad to happen. Nothing unusual hadn’t happened yet, no metahumans in sight, but she just knew they were coming eventually.

She didn’t have to wait for long. She was guiding two little girls out of the building when she saw familiar figures standing in the yard, talking to Steve.

She smelled trouble.

“Aah! Agent Romanoff, it seems like you found your people” Stark spoke and Natasha sneered at him, taking her place next to Steve. Steve glanced at her quickly and was glad that she still stood beside him even if they were currently not on best terms. The others took their places as well and studied the ‘enemy’ opposite to them. Next to Stark stood Spider-Man, poor kid, and five other guys Natasha didn’t recognize.

“What do you want Stark?” Natasha asked annoyed.

“Well it seems like somehow you know all of the mission we should be taking care of” Tony said and pointed at his ‘team’.

“So we came here to make sure you stop whatever the hell you are trying to do and go back to hiding. Or surrender, I don’t really care” He continued.

“That’s not going to happen and you know it” Steve said with his firm voice and stared Tony down. Tony let a long sigh escape his lips before he talked again.

“Then you leave me no choice” And in instant Steve flew ten meters back and fell on the ground. Natasha turned to look behind where Steve had fallen and saw Sharon immediately by his side. She rolled her eyes, Steve could take care of himself and the impact Tony’s hit was on him was barely making him wince. It hurt more mentally than physically.

“You’re going to regret that” Sam said and that was their cue. All the hell broke loose.

Natasha didn’t join the fight right away. She liked to observe for a while and see what the opposite had to offer. Wanda was fighting with Spider-Man, although it looked like two children playing, while Steve had moved farther away with Stark. She watched the five men intently as they fought with Sam, Clint and Sharon. There was something off with the men and they seemed familiar to her.

“Are they..” She started as she felt Bucky’s presence beside her but she didn’t complete her sentence. It wasn’t possible.

“Yes. They are like me” Bucky said so she didn’t have to. They shared a look. They weren’t the metahumans they were waiting for but they were still as much trouble. The main question was why the hell Stark had them in his team.

“I thought they were destroyed” Natasha said and didn’t even try to hide her confusion.

“Well it looks like we were wrong” Bucky frowned and watched as Clint got a hard looking punch in his abdomen.

“That’ll leave a bruise” Bucky joked and Natasha grinned at him and with that they were heading towards their friends.

 

Wanda was ‘fighting’ with Spider-Man while the others fought for real. They weren’t really fighting, they seemed to agree that it was pointless and neither one of them didn’t like to hurt the other one.

“Wow, that’s so cool!” Spider-Man said excitedly when Wanda showed him how she could gather around things from air and create a shield around them.

“You think?” Wanda wondered with a small smile. No one had looked at her powers like that before. He seemed to genuinely think that her powers were something cool and he didn’t seem to be a bit afraid of her, which she liked very much.

“Hell yeah!” Peter assured and took a step closer to look at the red smoke-like element in the air.

“That’s really fascinating..” He spoke out again and he wasn’t lying. He had heard of Wanda’s powers and even saw a glimpse at it in their previous battle but seeing it this close made it even more impressive. Not to add that the girl behind the powers was impressive herself.

“If you don’t mind me snooping, why are you part of Stark’s team?” She asked and the flying mass disappeared. Peter scratched the back of his neck while he tried to think about the right answer.

“I don’t know, at first Stark told me you were breaking the law and I usually play by the rules so I agreed to help him and now.. Well I’m not sure anymore” He explained and Wanda could sense his sadness grow by the end. Peter couldn’t tell her the real reason, it was too painful to even think about let alone saying it out loud. Also, he didn’t have the permission to do so. Wanda nodded and looked around. She saw her team struggling and thought she should go help them.

“I should go help them” She said, feeling little sad to interfere in the fight and leave her safeplace with Spider-Man.

“Okay but first I need you to shoot me with those powers of yours” He said.

“What?” Wanda was startled. Why on earth would she do that?

“We need to make this seem real and besides, I don’t want to join there and fight against your team” He explained. Wanda didn’t like his plan but nodded, understanding his need to be left out of the battle.

“I’m sorry about this” Wanda apologizes before she fired red waves at him, sending him on the ground.

“Are you okay?” Wanda asked worriedly as he grunted in pain. Instead of speaking he gave her a thumbs up and she smiled before heading towards the compat.

 

Natasha used all of her strength to take down the man she was fighting with. Like Bucky, they were much stronger than she was and she was badly losing the fight. On the corner of her eye she saw Wanda joining them and was glad for the backup. Natasha kicked her opponent so hard she could feel her toes getting bruised but despite her efforts the man didn’t seem to get tired or hurt.

“Need a hand?” Wanda asked but before she had time to answer the man was already across the yard.

“What took you so long?” Natasha asked out of breath.

“I was occupied” Wanda admitted and glanced behind her shoulder at the boy dressed in red uniform.

“I see” Natasha grinned and gave her a knowing look that made Wanda blush deeply. Their attention turned quickly up when they heard the sound of a helicopter getting lower.

“Avengers, this is your last chance to surrender!” Thaddeus Ross’ voice came through megaphone loud and clear.

“Are you kidding me?” Natasha heard Clint mumble to himself.

“I’m sorry Ross, that’s not going to happen” Steve said. Natasha hadn’t even seen him come closer to them, Stark now flying in the air next to the helicopter. The other men shared a look and all turned around and headed towards the other way. What was happening?

“I’m sorry this had to come to this” Ross apologized and put the megaphone away. Wanda looked at Steve with worried eyes and Steve couldn’t help but notice the strange feeling he had in his stomach.

He knew they should’ve left running when Ross said his last words, but they all were brave and stayed in their places.

What a dumb idea.

Ross threw something at them and all Steve could hear about was Sam’s loud yell ‘Watch out!’ before something exploded and filled the air with thick dust. Steve covered himself with his shield and pulled Sharon in his embrace, securing her also.

Wanda used her powers and created a shield around her before she hit the ground, leaving her without harm. She was worried for Natasha and the others, since she wasn’t able to secure them alongside herself. Bucky was a little further away from them so he only slightly stumbled and remained on his feet. Sam managed to grab Clint and fly them above the explosion just in time.

The only one who took a hit was Natasha. She wasn’t fast enough, she didn’t have shield or super powers so she was completely at the mercy of the explosion. She tried to cover herself but she flew several meters before hitting the ground with a loud bang that made the air escape from her lungs.

Tony Stark watched in horror the scene below him.

“What the hell was that?!” He yelled at Ross who had a hard look on his face. Something that made him look like a madman, insane.

“Just the beginning” Ross announced and nodded at the pilot who gave some orders through his walkie-talkie.

Tony heard the sound of bullets and in that moment he knew he fucked up.

Ross wasn’t trying to make the world a better place, he was trying to take control of it. He was killing the Avengers so there wasn’t anything standing in their way.

“No!” Tony yelled and fired his weapons towards the helicopter, which started to leave in a rush, men shooting back at him.

 

Natasha couldn’t see anything but thick dust so she tried to sit upwards. She grimaced when the pain reached her abdomen. She heard bullets near her but she still couldn’t see anything. Suddenly she felt pain in her left side and yelp escaped from her mouth. She looked down at her broadside and saw blood spreading out.

Steve heard Natasha’s voices, she was in pain. He felt panicked and started to look around frantically, trying to find her beautiful auburn hair. But he didn’t see anything and he couldn’t move. Not when he still heard bullets flying and he had to keep Sharon from getting hurt. Natasha’s screams were playing in his head and he could only hope Nat was alright.

Bucky also heard her, everyone heard her. He wasn’t far away from her, or so he thought since her voice was so loud. He decided to move from his spot behind the tree and started to run towards where he thought Natasha was. His instincts weren’t wrong and soon he found her laying on the ground, breathing heavily, her left side bleeding.

“Bucky” She sighed in relief and let her head fall back to the ground.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m going to help you” Bucky soothed her when he saw her panicked expression. She wouldn’t admit it but Bucky knew for a fact that she was scared.

Natasha wasn’t scared of anything else than death itself. She one time after their ‘meeting’ let it slip from her mouth after he had shared his own secret about being afraid of himself.

Natasha nodded and let Bucky add pressure to her wound.

“They’re gone” She suddenly said when she couldn’t hear the sounds of the bullets anymore and the dusk started to fade away. She was suddenly incredibly tired. This was like the time when Bucky had shot her, only three times worse. Maybe she was hurting more every time she took a new hit.

“I really hope so” Bucky said and ripped his other sleeve away. He gently wrapped it around her and pulled it tightly, in order to stop the bleeding.

“Nat!” They heard Steve’s voice coming towards them, he was running. As soon as Steve set his eyes on her, his heart stopped.

There was blood everywhere and Bucky was already there, trying to stop the bleeding in her other side. Her clothes were dirty and ripped from here and there, she had a cut in her forehead and he could already see some bruises appear around her body. Still, she was as beautiful as ever.

“Holy shit” He mouthed and dropped on his knees, taking her right hand in his, squeezing it tightly. Natasha’s heart skipped a beat when he touched her.

  
“I’m sorry this happened to you” Steve said, his voice almost breaking. Natasha wanted to answer, to protest and make him see this wasn’t his fault, but she was too tired.

“We need to get her to the plane. She’s bleeding too fast” Bucky said quietly at Steve who couldn’t do anything but stare blankly.

“Steve, are you listening?!” Bucky hit his arm to make him wake up.

“What? Yes.. I umm..” He stuttered but he couldn’t make out proper sentences.

“I’m fine” Natasha tried to assure but even in her own ears she didn’t sound believable.

“You don’t look like it” Steve said with furrowed brows.

“I said I’m fine, stop being so dramatic” Natasha said tiredly and let go of Steve’s hand, she was still mad at him about everything and she just didn’t want to be too close to him.

“Natasha!” Wanda screamed and ran to them, dropping next to Steve and putting her hands on top of Natasha’s. Tears started to run down from the younger ones eyes as she saw her wound. She had gone through it with Pietro before and she wasn’t going to go through it again. She felt Natasha’s pain even when she was far away from her and now that she was close, she could feel it much stronger.

“Wanda it’s okay” She tried to calm down the horrified girl but she could imagine how convincing she must’ve sounded.

“I can’t lose you too” Wanda cried quietly.

“We aren't going to lose anybody if we get moving, now!” Bucky said firmly and Steve nodded.

“Bucky is right, Wanda she’s going to be okay” Steve said and stood up, placing his hand on Wanda’s shoulder.

“I can help with that if you let me” Stark’s voice came suddenly behind them and Steve turned around alarmed.

“Don’t worry I’m not here to cause problem, I didn’t know what they were going to do” Tony said ashamed and glanced at Natasha, his brows furrowing.

“How is she?” He asked, not wanting to hear the answer.

No matter how complicated things between Tony and the others were he was always concerned about them. Especially the former assassin. He had made a terrible mistake by telling Ross about her involvement in Steve’s and Bucky’s escape, he admitted that. He was just so angry at her at that time. But the truth was, Natasha was the only real friend he had. Sure the other Avengers were there too, but Natasha had been with him since the day one, before Avengers were even formed.

Natasha was about to answer, to protest that he shouldn’t talk about her like she wasn’t even there, but her eyes felt suddenly heavier than before and everything around her faded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this version Spider-Man is 18 years old, although in Civil War he's 15 or something.


End file.
